drama drama drama

I have 5 drafts of blogs that I've never published. I'll have this great idea or thought, start writing about it, then second guess myself halfway (or sooner) through. Why? Mostly becuase I start thinking of all the arguments people could have with whatever it is I'm saying. I feel like in any statement you make that's really, authentically your own, there's an element of vulnerability in it, because for it to be completely authentically you, there has to be an element of weakness, because deep down, none of us are completely solid...there's cracks in all of us.

Plus the whole "blogosphere", as they call it, kind of weirds me out. It's just so noisy...so many people's opinions, so many options, and there's always more you could be reading or learning.

And of course, this is all under the assumption that any one important reads this, which is probably a little ambitious of me to think.

Anway, so I've decided to write more. And when I start writing to finish it and just press "publish post", not keep putting it off with "Save as Draft". Hmm...maybe I'm not just putting off blogging...maybe I'm putting off...life... This is where, if my life was a bio-pic, the music would start to gradually build, and the main character, sobbing in the rain after hitting rock bottom, would have the moment of revelation where she decides to pull herself out of her life of addiction and poverty, return to the lover she rejected and say "I'm not sure what I want, I'm not sure where it's going, but I know I want you..." Unfortunately there isn't anything in my life nearly as dramatic besides my ever present plight to find a new apartment. haha.